Something to amuse them. It was so humiliating and degrading."But... I don't know... something about it was exciting. I got so turned on by it. But I was so ashamed that I liked it. To be treated like an a****l. Like a slave. It was so confusing. But at the end I just gave myself over to it. When I got home I couldn't believe what I'd done there.Nydia smiled at her. "I knows it, girl. An' now you knows it. It's what I trys to tell you las' time."The two black women sitting across from them were listening as they spoke. "That's why I come back," said the older one. "My name is Yvonne. I don't mean to butt in, but that's exactly why I come back. It ain't for the money. It's for the thrill of it." She lowered her voice. "My husband thinks I'm visiting my momma. He just can't do it for me like this. When we're having sex, I'm thinking of those horny white men. He never looks at me like they do. They see a sexual a****l when they look at me. A bitch in heat. A nigger. None of 'em care if. He showed me how I could sink to a pretty wretched state, if I let myself. He was so cute, especially when I considered how much older he was than I. He even scolded me like a Daddy for my one indiscretion in my relationship.Thanks RM - "Dad".In between the fifth and sixth story I began to have a relationship with the character in my story I call "Russell". It was he that I had an indiscretion with during my time with William. Most would not have called it cheating, but I always felt awful that I never told William.As things got more and more serious with "Russell", I failed to tell him about the stories I was writing and the "triple life" I was leading, 1) the grieving widow, 2) the tell-all erotic story author 3) the new paramour for my old college friend.Since he was a subject in one of the stories, I felt I could not share them with him. The part about him was not in the outlines William made from my notes, because William didn't know about what happened. He knew "Russell", but.
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